It is World Mental Health Day today and although I think of myself as mentally resilient, I have not been without my own challenges. Living with a loving husband who has battled his inner demons throughout his life and our married life, meant that for many years I took on the role of ‘the strong one’.
Over time I realised that, despite my husband’s own challenges, he is the strong one and my well meant efforts meant that I inadvertently disempowered us both in certain areas of our lives. This is often the case when your default setting is ‘the helper’ - those who put themselves in the role of rescuer, often don’t know how to ask and receive help for themselves whilst not always empowering others with their help. Having done personal research on this phenomena, I could share a lot more on this subject but now is not the time.
It finally took a conflict at work over 12 years ago, and a long hard look at myself, to see how much I had lost myself by focussing on the needs of others rather than my own. Once I saw what I was doing, I was able to slowly come back home to myself.
Layer by layer I have started to let go of what is no longer serving me and embrace what is.
To me, mental dis-ease, means being uneasy in yourself. It means there is a part of you that has disconnected from your true self. This is why I make it my life’s work to keep coming home to myself.
There are three areas of focus that are now an essential part of my life and work as a coach as they help me to reconnect to everything that is essential to me:
1. Feed Connection through Presence
Although I value my time alone, I know it is essential that I reach out to my husband, family, friends and colleagues and make the effort and time and to keep me from isolating myself. This is particularly important when you are a solopreneur. Spending quality time with my wonderful husband and connecting to nature has been another essential part of my home coming to my own true nature. I thank my dog Eva for ensuring I go out every day, in all weathers!
2. Feed Creativity through Curiosity
This has been huge for me. Focussing on what I love and consistently feeding and nourishing the light. To unleash my creative heart and to allow myself to express all of me without editing myself away. This has been enormously empowering and has allowed me to reconnect to my strong and courageous heart and spirit.
3. Feed Compassion through Kindness
Nurturing loving kindness and compassion for myself has also been instrumental. Noticing my inner critic and not judging it or engaging with it. Allowing myself to be ok with not knowing. Creating awareness of my loving heart and giving it space to speak and feel heard. Breathing into my body and cultivating a generosity of spirit through practicing gratitude, forgiveness and acceptance.
Thank you to all who have walked beside me over the past number of years - family, friends, colleagues and clients. Thank you for being there as I found my way back to myself The Heartworker’s Way.
You have my gratitude.
Ann, aka The Heartworker
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